Heat a Dutch oven or large skillet over medium-high heat. Add ground meats and season with salt and pepper. Brown meat over medium-high heat, breaking meat up into pieces until no longer pink. Remove meat with a slotted spoon and transfer to a 4-quart slow cooker.
Add onion, carrot, and celery to pan drippings and cook over medium-high heat 3-5 minutes until onion is translucent. Add garlic and cook 1 additional minute until fragrant.
Pour wine into pan and let simmer 3-5 minutes until wine is slightly reduced. Add vegetable-wine mixture to slow cooker along with whole tomatoes, tomato paste, sugar, thyme, oregano, and bay leaf. Use a wooden spoon to break up tomatoes a bit.
Cover slow cooker and cook Bolognese sauce on high 2-3 hours or on low 4-5 hours, stirring sauce and breaking up tomatoes occasionally.
When ready to serve, skim any collected grease from the top of sauce, remove bay leaf from sauce, and stir in half and half.
Cook pappardelle noodles in salted boiling water until al dente. Drain noodles and toss into Bolognese sauce until evenly coated. Season Bolognese with salt and pepper to taste and serve warm with Parmesan on top. Enjoy!